Illusions of Dreams
by Aikawa Fuuko
Summary: Both Sai and Hikaru wish for something that is just an illusion: happiness. SaiHikaru.


**A/N****:** This was written by my "wife" Sakura Enmi, I only translated it into English and added the song lyrics, with her permission. Lyrics are from "Spirit Dreams Inside" by L'ArcenCiel.

**Disclaimer****:** HnG is not mine.

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**_Illusions of Dreams _**

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Written by: Sakura Enmi

Translated by: Aikawa Fuuko

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_Somewhere in the wasteland_

_I see you smiling at me_

_A vision out of my dream…_

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The bright moonlight shone lonely in the unfathomable dark night.

This darkness grew in you a deeply cold feeling…

Far in the garden, a lone cry of a bird…

"Where am I? Is this the place I have to go to?" Sai looked around. There was not another lone figure, except for himself… A dead silent garden.

Sai placed his hand on the stone board in the middle of the garden. Cold. Though covered by a layer of dust…

"This is…?" He closed his eyes, dwelling in nihility. Memories had become so far away…

"My house…? Where I used to live… Why am I here? Hasn't it dissolved into nothingness… or is this a dream to look back at the past?"

He looked at the scenery again… It was as if everything hadn't been touched by the hands of time at all… There were the doorsteps where Sai usually stood when the golden moon raised high above… This was the maple tree… the leaves were yet to stop falling… endlessly…

Another autumn…

"Without Hikaru here… I don't even know if this is a dream or reality… But still, if it is a dream, why can I feel, why can I touch? And if it is reality… then why am I here…? I am… a ghost that doesn't seem to really exist… Where is Hikaru?"

…

"Where is this?" Hikaru saw himself standing in the pitch-black darkness… then ambiguously, that darkness turned into a garden in a wink of the eyes… Hikaru realized that he was standing in this garden… A cold feeling slowly crept over him…

"Sai! Is it you?" Right in front of him… was Sai. The tall figure was standing upon the doorsteps, gazing at the gorgeous golden moon high above… The atmosphere was so serene…

"Sai! Sai! Do you hear me?"

His cry was loud… but it seemed that cry couldn't reach the familiar forlorn figure in front of him…

Sai suddenly turned towards Hikaru… as if he finally heard the boy… Looking at Hikaru, Sai's face was bewildered.

"Hikaru? Why are you here?" He stepped off. Hikaru ran towards him… They could hear each other.

"Sai! Where is this…? Why do I feel as if no sound could be heard here?"

"Maybe this is my garden… it looks so familiar…" Now Sai noticed something. "Hikaru, why are you wearing your uniform?"

"I don't know… I don't understand why I am here… This garden looks old, Sai…" Hikaru's words were cut short by Sai's light smile.

"This is really a dream…"

Hikaru clang at Sai's sleeve desperately, his voice shook with emotions. "A dream? It doesn't matter… because I can finally meet you again…"

Sai didn't need to hold that small hand to know that… Hikaru's hands were shaking. He pointed towards the stone board where the Go stones laid silently, gleaming in the crystalline moonlight.

"Let's play!"

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The game had ended long ago… but Sai still sat there, silent as if he was deep in contemplation… was he thinking about something?

"Sai, what are you thinking about?"

A light smile graced Sai's lips… a very light smile… "Without you here… I won't be able to realize how lonely I've always been before… Long ago, I lived here… in this place…"

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Sai stood up, walking slowly towards the maple tree. His hand touched upon the rough tree trunk… Hikaru hurriedly followed him. 

"Hikaru, why don't you just sit there?"

"Sai! You just keep smiling… don't you have anything else to say? You make me feel as if you're going to disappear again… If I don't stand beside you, I feel so anxious… I don't know why… Sai, please don't go anywhere, I can stay with you forever… even if I am trapped in this dream… I only need Sai!"

Sai's eyes were so sad… still, he smiled slightly, although it was just a melancholic smile… none of the other emotions were expressed on his face, because he knew, if he cried… the crystal tears from those emerald orbs would also fall…

A slight breeze rushed through faintly. The maple leaves kept falling, rustling in the night… The sound was small, but enough to break the silence of this almost dead garden.

Maple leaves fell with the wind.

Hikaru wanted to pick up those fallen red leaves… he turned away… Sai still stood there, staring at Hikaru. His eyes were as deep as this unfathomable night sky… his face melancholy, like the time when he had been about to disappear… right next to Hikaru…

"Why… why did God bring me back to this place? The place where I used to live and die… just to wait for centuries… to meet this person… And now… can God grant me happiness, even if being trapped for eternity here… with Hikaru?"

… "Hikaru… Hikaru still has a bright future awaiting him… I know that… I know that what I'm thinking is wrong… but why…this is the first time I know I'm wrong but I still want to do so… I want to drown in this dream with Hikaru. Hikaru, do you want it to be like this forever… or do I have to bring you back to your reality, even though it pains both of us so much? Or can the two of us ignore everything, only to be together forever?" 

Sai stared up at the golden moon high above again… "Still… will you allow us to be like that, God…?"

The silver moon kept shining that illusory light, making the garden seem like there was something named 'illusion' really existed within it… Everything seemed like an illusion, made up by dreams…

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The wind blew softly. Hikaru reached out, wanting to catch a maple leaf falling in space… but the leaf turned around in circles… and slid off his hand. Like having happiness so near, but never being able to grab it… because it was… just an illusion… The leaf fell… like a fading illusion.

Sai bent down to pick up a maple leaf… He extended his hand. "Hikaru, what do you think of this leaf?"

"A lonely leaf." Hikaru looked at Sai. "This leaf is you, isn't it?"

Sai placed the leaf into Hikaru's hand, smiling. "Hikaru, even if this is just happiness within an illusion, but happiness is still happiness… You will have a leaf if you pick it up gently… you can still have it, this happiness… That's why… this dream…"

Hikaru suddenly grabbed Sai's hand tightly, his eyes were fierce. "Even though everything is just an illusion of happiness… even though everything is just an illusion of dreams, or illusion of illusions… it's still reality to me. I would rather drown in this dream than return to that meaningless world… Without you, everything is not real!"

His lips touched Sai's softly…

The maple leaves… kept falling into the night…

The waning golden leaves…

Rustling in the wind…

Falling into this dead garden.

This kiss would be hidden deep inside the illusions of dreams…

Every illusion had its time to fade. Every dream… had its time to wake up…

Every happiness… had its time to end…

Because happiness was just a dream… a dream made of illusions… and illusions… illusions were made from our inner souls…

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The dawn shone through the window… 

Those emerald orbs fluttered open…

In his hands was a maple leaf, brought out from the dream… The light made it seem heavenly.

Hikaru reached out for his fan…

Crystal tears… silently shed from his eyes…

"If it's just an illusion… why didn't you let me… drown in the happiness that was weaved by dreams?"

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Even though the dream had passed… still… its echo lived on…

Illusion was Sai… with his hat… and the purely white robe… 

It was still there… in his dream.

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_With dreams of a distant love_

_I'm a wandering satellite…_

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_**The End of Dreams**_

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End file.
